Monday, May 30, 2011

the end of my blue period...




Something happens when we least expect it and it comes in millions of forms...change. It came to me a few days ago in a moment of freedom, and what that freedom has reaped already, is juicy, exciting and exploding with possibilities. Now that’s the kind of shift I like. I'm not afraid of it leaving, for this shift is inside of me, it can't be taken away unless I let it.
The road of love, sex and happiness are all carved from the same tree. I climbed up that tree on Saturday and have planted myself firmly in one of the nooks of its limbs. The wind is swaying me, rocking me as I take in the horizon; it is breath taking from up here. I don't even care that I scraped my knee and have now gotten blood and dirt on my shorts. I listen to the birds and smell the leaves and the earth. I can feel the heart of the universe beating inside her trunk. I press my hand against her ridged bark and I smile. Today, I stepped out of the dark blue, today I held a butterfly for but a second, only to feel, the setting it free. I felt my heart leap and flutter and I welcomed myself home again, as it took its erratic flight away from my clasped hands; only to come back and dance around me for a few delicious moments.

I speak to the tree in a gleeful voice, “I am falling in love again, I say. It's wonderful, I had been away, on a long journey of the heart, and at long last have returned. I'm happy about feeling love again. I had stopped feeling anything but sadness, and then I felt nothing at all, now I can feel everything. I simply took a deep breath and let it go, and like that, the love I had for myself, threw me out of my bed, like a late kid, running for the bus.

 So I ran to you, my sweet tree. You are the soul of God, all that calls of hope and love to me. I'm sorry I went away. But I won't leave again, even if I get sad. This time I know that the love I feel, the in- love I feel, begins with me. So even if my lover leaves, I won't. I will be here with you watching the sun and the moon, the stars, and the bats, as they look more like leaves floating against the night sky. I am a child again, with a whole life of joy ahead. So you see, I had to come and share it with you first! What?... oh, no, I can't know what will happen when summer comes to a close and the leaves get ready to turn, but I like that. I love that you never know what the end of a day will bring, or the end of a summer…I am free.

No comments:

Post a Comment